The Letters 2
by HannaHeyes
Summary: Two certain little boys write their letters to Santa once again. Just some Christmas fluff.


_**December, 1860**_

Dear Mr. Claus,

Hi. We need to talk. Now, I've been real...okay, mostly... good all...for part...of the year, so I deserve a lot of good gifts under the tree Christmas morning. 'Good gifts', meaning toys, candy, money, and other things someone of my age enjoys. As I recall, last year, I suggested that you check your toy to clothes ratio and apparently you didn't because I STILL got more clothes than other stuff. You REALLY need to keep check of that this year or kids may start doubting if you truly know if they're good year round or not. You don't need that kind of controversy. Think of what it would do to your public image.

One other thing before I tell you the reasons behind some of my actions this past year. As you know, my stocking is where you leave the candy and fruit you bring. The candy was fine last year, (really good...bring lots more), but I have to question the fruit. Seems you just went into Ma's kitchen and got some apples to give me. I know because when I saw the fruit basket at breakfast, I noticed something was wrong with it. Then I figured it out. Two apples were missing and nobody in the family ate an apple Christmas Eve night. Besides, I had noticed a small bruise on one of the apples a couple of days earlier and that same apple came out of my stocking. You know, a thing like that could make one question you. Are you running out of money to buy and make stuff for us children? Or is Ma the one stuffing the stockings? You need to get your gang working on the problem before it gets out of hand. By the way, I marked all the fruit in the kitchen a certain way this year so I'll know if it happens again.

Now, about these alleged incidents that happened this past year. I can explain.

First, I'd like to address the outhouse scandal at school. Yes, I will admit that I found a way to lock the outhouse door and was charging admission for kids to use it. (That little, insignificant scheme was working fine until the teacher had some bad beans at lunch and had an...accident...because she couldn't get in). BUT, I had a REALLY good reason for doing such a thing. You see, Ma's birthday was coming up and there was this hand bag she looked at everytime we went into town. I was just trying to raise the money to get it for her. You can't blame a boy for wanting to make his Ma happy now, can you?

Okay, on to the science 'experiment'. For science class, each one of us had to come up with a small experiment to try. Just so happened, pepper was one of the first things that went through my mind. So, that is the reason I threw pepper in the teacher's face the next day. I wanted to see if she would sneeze. The other three people I did it to sneezed also. I was just doing my best to get an 'A' for science and prove my experiment. Pepper, does indeed, makes somebody sneeze almost every time. Except for Pa, it just made him mad.

Now, I did try to be nice and bring some flowers to the teacher one day. And can you believe it?! There was some poison oak mixed in with them flowers. I can't say that I don't know what poison oak looks like, or, that I do know what it looks like, because one of those statements would be lying and lying, as we all know is wrong, so I ain't going to do that. That's all I have to say on the subject.

I will admit that I used some glue I found to glue one of my cousin's mouths shut. But he just WOULD NOT hush and listen to me. He just went on and on until I couldn't take it anymore. I knew the best place to go fishing. That spot he wanted to go to was growed up with all kinds of weeds at the edge of the pond and had lily pads in the water. You can't fish good in a bunch of weeds, especially with lily pads around. My cousin knows that now. And I know how long it takes to get glue off of somebody's mouth 'cause Pa made me watch before he whooped me good. So, see. I already paid the penalty for that incident. Therefore, it should not be used against me while making your nice/naughty list.

That about covers everything I think. If you find yourself running low on toys and the other good stuff, be sure to come to Kansas first. We must've been last last year. So, it would just be fair for us to go first this year and get most of the good stuff.

And don't worry. I ain't mad at you over the fruit incident. I'll still leave you a cookie and some milk under the tree. I would leave more than one cookie, but, I ate most of them. Don't tell Ma. Somehow, she got the idea that they fell out of the cookie jar onto the floor, got dirty, and had to be thrown away.

I'll make a deal with you. You bring me lots of good stuff, (remember, that DOES NOT include clothes), and when I get older and get my own horse and stuff, I'll ride to your house and bring you something nice every year.

So, goodbye for now. Have a safe trip and like I said last year, you might want to take a map in case you get lost. It has to be confusing going all over the world in one night.

Sincerely,

Your innocent on all counts, well-behaved friend,

Hannibal Heyes

ooooooooasjoooooooo

Dear Mister Santa Claus,

Howdy. This is Jed. How are you? I am fine. As you know, I turned 7 this year. I think it's about time I got my own shootin' iron. A man just can't hunt good with a slingshot. You shoot a deer with a rock, he's just gonna laugh at you. I'd like to have one of them shiny Colts I seen some people wearin'. And some new toys and some candy would be good too.

My cousin, Han, told me I should tell you about a couple of things that happened so you'll know I care about bein' truthful and put me on the good list. But, he also told me that 'cause of a mandment #5 or somethin' wrote down somewhere, I don't have to tell on myself. So, I'll just say that I can't say how Ma's undergarments got into my sister's show and tell box. And he said to tell you that the teacher made me write a sorry note to a boy 'cause my ink bottle just plumb up and spillt over his head after he said somethin' unnice to a girl. So, here's what I wrote:

Dear Henry,

Teacher made me write you this letter to say sorry. All I'm sayin' sorry for is NOT bein' sorry. I tried ta feel sorry, but I just don't.

And that's about all I have ta say. Oh, and Han wants me to let you know he helped me write this here letter so's it sounds good and so's you'll know how nice he is to his cousin. I didn't want ta write that, but Han has a way of makin' a body want to do somethin' even when he don't.

And now, THAT'S all I got ta say.

Your friend,

Jed Curry


End file.
